How An Instrumental Saved My Life
An instrumental is a song that lacks what many consider the most important part to any song, words. Around this time last year I met a guy in a local bar on a girls night out. I wasn't sure if it was my three Long Island ice tea alter ego who decided to give this guy my number or if my sober conscious kicked in and made that decision for me, regardless I was happy I did. I woke up the following morning with the expected head ache but when I opened my phone I had a very unexpected text from an unlined number. I was flattered when I discovered it was the man I met the night before and even more flattered when he asked me out on a date. I went on the date and I had a great time. I laughed more than I had in months on that single occasion and every time I found myself in mid laugh I couldn't help but wish for an endless perfect night. He said all the right things and even took me by surprise by how openly he talked about life with me. I'm cautious with letting others into my thoughts so I didn't share quiet as much but I still felt at ease knowing I wasn't the only one struggling with well.... Life. He dropped me off at my apartment after we walked the levee for what seemed hours and ended the night with the kiss I had been thinking about from the moment he picked me up. The night was one word: needed. I was so high on the thought of how I couldn't wait till the next time I saw him that there was absolutely no way I was going to bed any time soon so i decided to go to a gas station and treat myself to the finest chocolates they had to offer. I'm on my way back home but for some reason I just felt like driving around while I stuffed my face with M&Ms. During my casual drive I think I lost myself inside my head. I looked down at the clock to discover I had been driving around for close to an hour in complete silence. I didn't even notice I was driving without music and that alone upset me. Tears rolling down my face because once again in life I had found myself so unaware of my surrounding because I was lost inside my head being drowned by the thoughts. Losing my best-friend months before that occasion gave me more than I needed to think about. When I found myself in silence that last phone call with her always found its way to my ears. I was traumatized after being on the phone with her and hearing her cry for help as she soon took her last breath. Hating the fact I had to witness her death via phone call yet so internally thankful that I got to hear the last words my friend uttered during her life here. Madison was my soulmate that was placed on this planet that I was destined to meet and I'll forever keep her as close to my heart as I possibly can. I was upset by my thoughts yet more upset that I was allowing my thoughts to ruin such a wonderful night. After sulking in my car for a solid 20 more minutes I decided I couldn't let another pathetic silent tear roll down my face so I reached over and blared the first song I heard on the radio. The timing for me to turn on the radio was awful because it was another over played two month hit every station I went to. The songs were about going out, getting drunk, and having sex. The songs weren't helping me get in a better mood, they were just annoying me to the point I was about to go back to silence. Thanks to my auxiliary chord I decided to just play something I could pick of YouTube. Still no song felt right for the way I felt so the frustration continued. As I'm still in tears from now frustration, I accidentally click on this random song. It was a rap beat instrumental and it had not one word in the entire thing. I listened to it, liked the beat and although it didn't have words, it was working my mood into a happier state of mind. The next instrumental that played was slower and had more of an R&B flow to it and weirdly I got the urge to sing. I started just spitting out everything that was on my mind at that given moment and I made my words flow with the beat. Not to give myself credit but my lyrics I came up with on the spot weren't all that bad and I like the music overplayed on the radio they were real and coming from a very deep part of me that many never will get the chance to see. I drove around an extra hour that night playing every instrumental I could find from piano to guitar to random rap beats made off a keyboard. I sang the words inside my head with passion and by the time I arrived to my apartment I was sitting there smiling to myself. Talking to people can be hard. It can be really hard. If you ever find yourself in a place where you're losing it inside your head yet don't have the courage to go up to a friend or family member and allow them to see the pain you are feeling, try just getting in your car alone, putting an instrumental on and sing all those negative thoughts away. Try it, it could save your life.
Image provided by April Boe